Taking A Deep Breath

There are many things in life that can seriously aggravate us. The hardest thing to do is to let things go and allow life to continue. We all have days when we want to just march into our boss' office and scream at them for being jerks or want to turn to that one person who is being really ridiculous in our car while driving and tell them to get out and walk. And for some of us, that really does seem like a stress relieving option, but what's something that can prevent us from actually reliving one of those close and effect commercials from Time Warner Cable (?) depicting the end of our lives as we know it.

Through research and self-observation, I have come up with several ways to get myself to take that 15 second pause that allows me to rethink what I am about to do and find a different answer. Disclaimer: these are things that work for me, but I will not guarantee their success for another human being or other such being since they/you are not me. I do encourage you to try and find some ways that help you rather than punching that alleged nincompoop in the face. Yes, I did just use the insult nincompoop :) I like that one, along with butt-faced miscreant (10 puts to whomever catches my reference here).

1. Take a deep breath. Sure this person is being annoying and/or immature, but that doesn't mean that you have to stoop to that level. Pausing a moment and taking a deep breath allows us to recollect our thoughts and rethink what is going on. Also, a calm look can help an aggressor calm down (or may not help depending on the person) or at least realize that you are listening but are not happy with their reaction.

2. Count to 10 slowly in your head. I'm sure everyone has heard this at least once in their lives, but honestly it works well for me. Remember, countingthose extra few seconds could really save a relationship.

3. Listen to some of your favorite music. Getting aggrivated is never a good thing, it's even worse when you have to hide your aggravation and annoyance until you are in a more private setting. This will happen more for staff with clients and parents with children. Keep a smile on, but when you're alone or at least more private, put on some music that can calm you or at least get you to take several deep breaths. While I listen to classical music and soundtracks, some people claim that heavy metal makes them feel better. To each their own!

4. Drink some tea. Coffee really isn't good while adrenaline is high and you need to calm down, not really its purpose, but some nice herbal tea is always good!!

5. Write out your feelings. For you creative types, this is an awesome way to get true feelings onto paper or in your paintings, or for the writers, want some true emotions expressed by your characters? As Robert Frost said: "No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader." In order to allow your characters to sound legitimate in their feelings and emotions, you have to believe them yourself. What better way than to write out how you feel in that mindset?

6. Talk it out. Remember, life will continue after this incident. Is this incident worth loosing a friend or a client? I'm guessing it is not. Listen to their side of the story and try to understand then explain your side without pointing fingers (I understand how hard it is to do that) so that you both understand how yeach other were feeling and how you ca hopefully prevent this in the future. 

7. Take a 5+ minute cool off period. Go for a run, go at it with a punching bag, sing, write, whatever it is. Just take those five or more minutes to cool off and let your mind calm down enough for you to think clearly again. I've found this also works when I'm frustrated or on the verge of tears.

I know that these ideas do sound a lot like what a psychologist would say, and maybe I just missed my calling when I decided I didn't want more school, but these are things that help me. Why do you think some of my posts end up raw like this? I write when I have something to write about and the past week and a half have been hectic to say the least, at both jobs, and  today way just the icing on top of the cupcake of shitty weeks. Yet, I'm still here, no one is dead and no one is aggrivated due to the situation, and PianoGuys is playing very nicely in the background as I write this. Today will end up as a good day after all I think!

What do you guys do when you get aggrivated? What are some of your coping mechanisms?

Love,

Sara :)

Writing Tips I've Been Given

I'm a reader, like a big reader. I read whenever I can, I have two bookshelves in my room full of books and I've read close to 1/4 of the mystery section in my library. Not to mention there are about 3 or so other bookshelves in my house that are full. So, it's a big thing in my family. I've also found that I enjoy writing. But this is a bit different since writing takes a bit more thought than reading a mystery book. I have started about 2 or 3 stories that I've dreamed about turning into books, but I haven't found a character that I had a long enough interest in to finish more than 3 or 4 chapters. Not to mention there is not nearly enough time in a day for me to get everything in that I want, but since when is that news?

Anyways, I wanted to share some advice I got from multiple sources about writing and what it takes, and how to make t not so much easier as more manageable.

1. Write everyday. Seriously, one of the best ways to become a better writer is to write everyday. I carry around 2 notebooks in my purse as of late: one for notes on daily life while the other is my writing notebook. Whenever I am bit with something that I feel would be a good section in a story, I write it down, because heaven knows if I wait until I'm home it'll never come out!

2. Read what you can. By reading what is interesting to you, you develop a style that is all your own but shares in bits of the styles of the writers you admire and want to be like. A writer who does not read has only his own life to write about.

3. Talk to your characters. If you don't feel like these charaters you are creating are real, your readers won't see them as real either. You are only as good as you let yourself be, and your characters are people/creatures so let them tell you what they are doing rather than you telling them what to do. I understand that this seems a bit weird, but seriously it's true!

4. Don't be afraid of more drafts. Rewriting your chapters may get rid of some of your characters and may change your plot completely, but if you did not like it the way it was, then your readers won't either. Don't be afraid to have 5 or 6 drafts! Each time you change something, you are getting better at your writing. Just know that if you are looking for perfection, it will take much longer, but only stop when you are satisfied or when your characters stop talking to you.

5. Relate to others. If you can't understand why other people do what they do, why they get angry, why they get sad, why try jump for joy, if they jump for joy, how are you supposed to be able to write about how a character of your creation acts? They are people in your mind as well, and it is just as important for you to understand why they do what they do. You can make one character like yourself but an entire story with little mini-me's running around really is not that interesting, there's no plot or conflict and that tends to only come when oh understand other characters and how the issue comes up. And to do this, you have to understand other personalities. Good luck!

6. Write what you like. They always say write what you know, but what f what you know is not what holds your interest? In my opinion, it should be write what you like because that is what you'll end up passionate about. Your passion will show in your writing and will get your readers as excited as you are about whatever it is! So if you want to write about snow, then write about snow, were about why you like snow and what happens on the snow. Write about freaking snow! 

7. Write the book you want to read. Ok, this one I got off Pinterest, but it seriously ring true. It might make it harder to write but it brings is back to passion. Just go write something!

I hope that this was at least interesting, a bit of a change in pace from my routine stuff! I'm working on taking my own advice ere and tying to get into the habit of writing everyday (so far...not too good) maybe it can help with stress!

I'm sorry that I've been so distracted lately, but life is crazy! I love you all for coming back and reading even though it's not consistent :)

Love,

Sara :)